I recently read an article about a popular Christian author who has renounced both his faith and the content of his books. I won’t go into who that was or what I think about him because that’s not the subject of what I’m writing here. But it has prompted me to talk about losing faith.

It should be an unsurprising fact that the Christian Life can be difficult. Life for anyone can be difficult. And sometimes it can be extraordinarily hard. And painful. And confusing. And some hardships are unique to being a Christian – especially when there is so much ignorance and prejudice surrounding religion in an age where there is increasing hostility and social intolerance. And against the backdrop of all of this hardship life can be pressured, with all kinds of options to run away and choose easier paths. There are temptations to compromise, temptations to sin, temptations to be dishonest and temptations to be a far different person on the outside than you truly are on the inside. There should be no surprises there. I don’t find it surprising that some people choose to walk away from their previously held beliefs, as tragic as that is.

But losing faith doesn’t happen overnight. There’s a process of unresolved pain, of hardening of heart and embracing untruths as a means of false comfort. There’s often a process of self deception and intellectual dishonesty that begins long before the doubts even emerge.

I had a friend who went through a very similar life changing event as myself. Both of us had been in ministry. Both of us had suffered deep personal betrayals. These trials were both excruciatingly painful and they redefined all of our closest relationships. His response was to withdraw, grieve, choose paths that he otherwise would not have chosen and redefine his belief system to accommodate his life choices. My response was to withdraw, grieve, get bitter, repent (repeat cycle) choose paths that I normally would not have chosen, grieve, repent (repeat cycle) spend lots of time in tears, desperately seek God, stand up again and move on. My friend was six days older than me, so at his funeral, which was six days after his death, it was not lost on me that the man in the box could well have been me.

I began to think about what was different between he and myself. We’d both been through the same pain and disillusionment with other believers, both made similar life choices, but I’d re-emerged from the valley of tears with my faith strengthened and intact, and he’d emerged with no faith at all and with a worldview full of inconsistencies and intellectual dishonesty… and he knew very well too. And then, sadly, so very sadly, he got sick and died.

This all led me to ponder what kind of gospel we put our hope in. Do we believe because we think that God will give us a comfortable and happy life? Perpetual victory without the sting of defeat? Triumph and perpetual joy? Do we believe in God because we expect to find loyal love, respect and popularity among nice, moral people? Do we believe because we think that God will bless our businesses and swell our bank accounts? Or because he’ll give us a beautiful wife or a faithful husband? Do we think that following Jesus will give us social respectability and enhance our reputations? Well, good luck with that! Yes some, or even all of these things may come your way. But to be a follower of Christ you’ve got to be prepared to let them all go and there will inevitably be times of suffering. And sooner or later we will be tested.

Popularity?

Although you may not yet know it, to some people you’re already a very bad odor because you believe in the Savior. In case you missed it, somewhere between 1978 and now, at least in the western world, being a Christian shifted from being a ticket of respectability to a target painted on your back.

I’m so thankful that God found me when I was broken and when I’d given up hope of ever finding anything good in this world. For me I was captivated and revived by the beauty and glory of the Lord Jesus. No-one sold me on the false hope of getting rich or famous or popular or successful, or even loved by others. I was sold on the gospel of transcendent hope… the belief that whatever happens here on earth, good or bad, sublime or tragic, we all have a sure hope in heaven above, of which we carry a sure conviction of within us, through the Holy Spirit who indwells us. Take everything away and that hope and assurance remains, even when everything and everyone else fails. And the promise of our loving Messiah is that even when we ourselves are faithless, He remains faithful. We are held secure, not by our firm grip on Him, but by His firm and relentless grip on us!

There will inevitably be days, weeks, months or years, where things don’t go the way we hope or expect, but when your hope is fixed on Christ, and your treasure is in heaven, everything will eventually be OK. The Apostle Paul, who knew all about suffering for Christ, famously said, “Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? As it is written, “For your sake we are being killed all the day long; we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.” No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

“Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? As it is written, “For your sake we are being killed all the day long; we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.” No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

Romans 8:35-39

At one point, in the midst of one of the darkest moments of my life I was in Egypt near Sewa Oasis and I walked off alone into the Sahara desert. I sat down on the sand and looked all around me and realised that it would be so easy for me to just keep walking and no-one would ever know where I was or ever find my body. Such was the pain I was feeling at that time that the idea somehow seemed inviting and the desert seemed to be beckoning me. I realised at that time that if I turned around and came back I would likely face a world of pain. Walking into the desert would have been the easier path. But also a completely selfish one. So instead of giving into despair I talked to God in the wilderness, just as many of the ancient prophets, kings and patriarchs had done, and then I followed my tracks back to where I was staying. And I am so glad that I did, because soon after I got to know the woman who is now my beautiful wife who has also given me three beautiful children.

Abandoning faith offers no solution to the pain and existential angst that comes from living in a broken world. And often all it does is to just push that pain onto someone else. It brings no resolution to anything. One thing that I absolutely love about the Bible is its brutal honesty when it comes to suffering, failure and despair. There is a time for lamenting. There’s even a whole book in the Bible devoted to it! (The Book of Lamentations). But even in in the midst of lamentations hope springs forth like springs of water in the desert. The prophet Jeremiah was caught up in all the suffering and despair associated with the judgement of God upon his nation. Against the backdrop of that terrible despair he came to this conclusion: “But this I call to mind, therefore I have hope: The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, His mercies never come to an end. They are new every morning.”

Is life getting you down? Are you struggling to find hope and the future looks tragically bleak? Why not try having an honest conversation to the God of the Bible? His mercies are new every morning. When the sun comes up tomorrow, there’s no telling what good things He might send your way.